the end of the road...for now

okay...so i am officially graduated from HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! one of the most awesome feelings is knowing that you don't have to go back to that place where you had your most embarrassing moments, where people call you "MORMON" as if it were your first name, and where the cafeteria would sell it's food faster if it were just labeled "dog food." despite the horribleness of Covina High School, i enjoyed my time there. i am one of the few people who can leave that place and say, "well, that was fun, but i could use a change of scenery...like BYU-Hawaii." it's been great. i am extremely grateful for all the time that i had there and for all the friends i made and for everything i experienced. but i really cannot wait to go on to do better things than i ever could dream of if i were to stay here. look out world...HERE I COME!!!!

Into the Woods

one of the most amazing shows that i have ever performed in!!! i was the lead and (if i do say so myself) i was pretty awesome. i think my most memorable moment of my life is up there on stage singing my song "Moments in the Woods." i have never felt so happy after a performance. i definitely think that i was one of the strongest characters up there and i was able to identify with people. that is the mark of a good performer. IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! and i wish i could post the whole thing up here, but i can't. it should be on youtube soon, but we'll see if that really happens. if only i could put all of this into words...there's no way i'll be able to. i think only another performer could truly understand what i'm saying...or someone who has felt this way before...i don't know what i'm saying so beore i say something totally stupid, i'm going to stop. THANK YOU STEPHEN SONDHEIM!!!

No Subject

how does one label the way that i feel at this very moment? why give it a name? it won't make things feel better or make things right again-in fact, things might be made worse. it's crazy: ten minutes ago i was on top of the world. i had everything figured out and my life was going according to plan. then suddenly, the plan was being flushed down the toilet right before my eyes, my dreams slipping through my fingers, leaving me with fear. such fear that i had never experienced before. going from being in control to having my arms pinned at my sides. how will i get out of this? i know i'm smart enough to figure it all out, but right now i just want to be angry...if that is what i'm feeling now. i don't know what to think or what to do. i only wish that i had a back-up plan. why wasn't i good enough? or what made someone else better? why can't i receive an answer to these questions? it won't matter anyway. it's funny: the waiting place was my worst fear, and i was thinking i wouldn't have to face it until much later; but this waiting place is far worse than i had ever anticipated, and i have to face it now.

sweet mother of pineapples...

...(as amanda would say) i have got the most amazing news for you! i have the leads of two plays at my school at the same time! isn't that so crazy amazing? the musical theatre club is putting on the musical "into the woods" and i am the baker's wife. it's about a baker and his wife who can't have kids and they have to go into the woods to get four things so that the curse on their house can be broken; so they come into contact with other fairytales and the story is pretty much they tales interacting with each other and then the second act is what happens after everyone gets their wishes.

the second play i am in is the drama club production of "chateux laroache" and i am mimi laroche-the proprietress of the chateux. this play is about a hotel that gets infested with giant cockroaches, but there is a health inspector disguised as a guest as they call an exterminator to wipe out the roaches. it's kind of weird, but i am super excited. maybe its a good thing i don't have any other commitments!

the best day of my life!!!

so today, I turned 17 YEARS OLD! that is so crazy right? one more year and i'll be legal. i don't want to be 18 though. that means i have to be an adult and i kind of like not having any real responsibilities. but it's not the age or the fact that it's my birthday that makes it the best day of my life. it's how great averyone is to me because it's my birthday!

well, first off, it was friday and the day before halloween which means that everyone dressed up in their halloween costumes. i was a last-minute nerd (though some would argue that then it wouldn't really be halloween for me). so i came to school a little mad because we were late for zero period, but when i got my drum on and headed on the field, the whole drumline wished me "happy birthday", so i felt better. then at lunch, I got to jam-out some music with one of my buddies and i ate some great humus (not really: gag me!) but it was all great. then there was a football game, which we totally killed the other team, and i got to perform during half-time with the rest of the band. during the third quarter the band sang me happy birthday (not so pretty, but i still loved it) and then the cheerleaders shouted "happy birthday, lauren!" to me which i don't think they normally do. so all in all, it was the best day of my life!!!

"A Lowe High Affair" class of 1999 10-year reunion

i made it! i am the senior class president of the class of 1999 at Lowe High School (yes, the pun IS intended), Jamie Markson. In case you are reading this and have no clue what i am talking about, i am not taking on a new identity, or changing my name, or joining the witness protection unit...i made murder mystery! it is a play sort of thing put on by the drama program that is half-scripted, half-improv show where the actors play a character they portray and interact with the audience and everything. the crazy part is that the actors cannot break character and...some people are murdered! it's crazy fun and i am so excited because i get to be such a brat and it will be okay! it's very difficult, but that's what makes it such fun!!!

"oh the places [i]'ll go"

WOW!!! things have been so hectic with school, homework, band, drama, DRAMA...and everything! my life is like one big ball that won't stop rolling! not that that's a bad thing. i like it when things just keep going and going-i feel like i have purpose and it keeps me out of trouble...for a while. at least i don't have a job. can you imagine? my life would be too cluttered.

the reason i bring this up is because on friday, i began to apply for college. what a huge step in my life that is!!! i suddenly have to be an adult and make a decision that will decide the outcome of the rest of my life-nothing trivial like which pair of shoes am i going to wear today? it is really frustrating because people are always telling me where i should go, and then others are telling me that i should do what i want. adding that to the every-day stress of life (not that i have much) can be a little discouraging. i'll admit, sometimes i like talking about myself and my future. it's exciting, but also, it's a little sad. for some reason, the thought that in the very near future i will be leaving covina, upsets me. not that covina is the most amazing place in the world, but it has been my life for the past sixteen (almost seventeen!) years. leaving my life behind is something i can hardly wrap my head around. how on earth does one do that? answer: not easily, but when one is so motivated to create the best future for themselves, their past doesn't get to them and they make themselves successful during the present. i am determined to make that my reasoning for where i go and what i do with my life. i won't let anyone stop me...even if they are influential people in my life. and as Dr. Seuss says, "o, the places [i]'ll go" if i stick to that determination. i am a little afraid for that "waiting place" where i have to figure out what to do next, but if i take baby steps one-at-a-time, i think i'll be alright. so here's to the rest of my life...for better or worse.

p.s. in case you are wondering, i still have hardly any clue where i am actually going to apply/go for college!