the end of the road...for now

okay...so i am officially graduated from HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! one of the most awesome feelings is knowing that you don't have to go back to that place where you had your most embarrassing moments, where people call you "MORMON" as if it were your first name, and where the cafeteria would sell it's food faster if it were just labeled "dog food." despite the horribleness of Covina High School, i enjoyed my time there. i am one of the few people who can leave that place and say, "well, that was fun, but i could use a change of scenery...like BYU-Hawaii." it's been great. i am extremely grateful for all the time that i had there and for all the friends i made and for everything i experienced. but i really cannot wait to go on to do better things than i ever could dream of if i were to stay here. look out world...HERE I COME!!!!

Into the Woods

one of the most amazing shows that i have ever performed in!!! i was the lead and (if i do say so myself) i was pretty awesome. i think my most memorable moment of my life is up there on stage singing my song "Moments in the Woods." i have never felt so happy after a performance. i definitely think that i was one of the strongest characters up there and i was able to identify with people. that is the mark of a good performer. IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! and i wish i could post the whole thing up here, but i can't. it should be on youtube soon, but we'll see if that really happens. if only i could put all of this into words...there's no way i'll be able to. i think only another performer could truly understand what i'm saying...or someone who has felt this way before...i don't know what i'm saying so beore i say something totally stupid, i'm going to stop. THANK YOU STEPHEN SONDHEIM!!!

No Subject

how does one label the way that i feel at this very moment? why give it a name? it won't make things feel better or make things right again-in fact, things might be made worse. it's crazy: ten minutes ago i was on top of the world. i had everything figured out and my life was going according to plan. then suddenly, the plan was being flushed down the toilet right before my eyes, my dreams slipping through my fingers, leaving me with fear. such fear that i had never experienced before. going from being in control to having my arms pinned at my sides. how will i get out of this? i know i'm smart enough to figure it all out, but right now i just want to be angry...if that is what i'm feeling now. i don't know what to think or what to do. i only wish that i had a back-up plan. why wasn't i good enough? or what made someone else better? why can't i receive an answer to these questions? it won't matter anyway. it's funny: the waiting place was my worst fear, and i was thinking i wouldn't have to face it until much later; but this waiting place is far worse than i had ever anticipated, and i have to face it now.

sweet mother of pineapples...

...(as amanda would say) i have got the most amazing news for you! i have the leads of two plays at my school at the same time! isn't that so crazy amazing? the musical theatre club is putting on the musical "into the woods" and i am the baker's wife. it's about a baker and his wife who can't have kids and they have to go into the woods to get four things so that the curse on their house can be broken; so they come into contact with other fairytales and the story is pretty much they tales interacting with each other and then the second act is what happens after everyone gets their wishes.

the second play i am in is the drama club production of "chateux laroache" and i am mimi laroche-the proprietress of the chateux. this play is about a hotel that gets infested with giant cockroaches, but there is a health inspector disguised as a guest as they call an exterminator to wipe out the roaches. it's kind of weird, but i am super excited. maybe its a good thing i don't have any other commitments!

the best day of my life!!!

so today, I turned 17 YEARS OLD! that is so crazy right? one more year and i'll be legal. i don't want to be 18 though. that means i have to be an adult and i kind of like not having any real responsibilities. but it's not the age or the fact that it's my birthday that makes it the best day of my life. it's how great averyone is to me because it's my birthday!

well, first off, it was friday and the day before halloween which means that everyone dressed up in their halloween costumes. i was a last-minute nerd (though some would argue that then it wouldn't really be halloween for me). so i came to school a little mad because we were late for zero period, but when i got my drum on and headed on the field, the whole drumline wished me "happy birthday", so i felt better. then at lunch, I got to jam-out some music with one of my buddies and i ate some great humus (not really: gag me!) but it was all great. then there was a football game, which we totally killed the other team, and i got to perform during half-time with the rest of the band. during the third quarter the band sang me happy birthday (not so pretty, but i still loved it) and then the cheerleaders shouted "happy birthday, lauren!" to me which i don't think they normally do. so all in all, it was the best day of my life!!!

"A Lowe High Affair" class of 1999 10-year reunion

i made it! i am the senior class president of the class of 1999 at Lowe High School (yes, the pun IS intended), Jamie Markson. In case you are reading this and have no clue what i am talking about, i am not taking on a new identity, or changing my name, or joining the witness protection unit...i made murder mystery! it is a play sort of thing put on by the drama program that is half-scripted, half-improv show where the actors play a character they portray and interact with the audience and everything. the crazy part is that the actors cannot break character and...some people are murdered! it's crazy fun and i am so excited because i get to be such a brat and it will be okay! it's very difficult, but that's what makes it such fun!!!

"oh the places [i]'ll go"

WOW!!! things have been so hectic with school, homework, band, drama, DRAMA...and everything! my life is like one big ball that won't stop rolling! not that that's a bad thing. i like it when things just keep going and going-i feel like i have purpose and it keeps me out of trouble...for a while. at least i don't have a job. can you imagine? my life would be too cluttered.

the reason i bring this up is because on friday, i began to apply for college. what a huge step in my life that is!!! i suddenly have to be an adult and make a decision that will decide the outcome of the rest of my life-nothing trivial like which pair of shoes am i going to wear today? it is really frustrating because people are always telling me where i should go, and then others are telling me that i should do what i want. adding that to the every-day stress of life (not that i have much) can be a little discouraging. i'll admit, sometimes i like talking about myself and my future. it's exciting, but also, it's a little sad. for some reason, the thought that in the very near future i will be leaving covina, upsets me. not that covina is the most amazing place in the world, but it has been my life for the past sixteen (almost seventeen!) years. leaving my life behind is something i can hardly wrap my head around. how on earth does one do that? answer: not easily, but when one is so motivated to create the best future for themselves, their past doesn't get to them and they make themselves successful during the present. i am determined to make that my reasoning for where i go and what i do with my life. i won't let anyone stop me...even if they are influential people in my life. and as Dr. Seuss says, "o, the places [i]'ll go" if i stick to that determination. i am a little afraid for that "waiting place" where i have to figure out what to do next, but if i take baby steps one-at-a-time, i think i'll be alright. so here's to the rest of my life...for better or worse.

p.s. in case you are wondering, i still have hardly any clue where i am actually going to apply/go for college!

i am TIRED!!!!!!

holy crap, who knew school could be so tiring? it's only the third week of school and i am so wiped that i don't know how i'm going to get through this blog, let alone THIS YEAR! how on earth do seniors do it? i am so stressed out and i have so many things to do for my AP class. i am about to pull my hair out. i have an essay that is due on WED. and i have no clue how i'm going to finish it by then. i also found out today that i have to write my own final for drama because i can't be in my friend's final this year. how am i going to do this? i already want to keel over or just quit...but i can't quit my senior year! all of that work over the past three years for nothing? i don't think so.

the "senior" first day of school

WOW!!!! i can't believe it, but i'm a senior now. i remember my freshman year when i looked at all the seniors and i thought that they were so cool and now that it's me who people look at like that, i feel a little like...woa baby i don't know if i can handle this. soon i'll be applying to schools and then i'll be living in a strange place and then i don't know what'll happen next. is my senior year supposed to feel like this? should i be so afraid to move on? maybe i'm not afraid, i'm just anticipating what's to come. i don't know...i feel like i've been a little lost in the whole "future" category. but it's good to be back. seeing friends that you don't see all summer, meeting new teachers, catching up with old ones, making fun of freshmen trying to find their way around campus...school's great! there are the downsides of the homework aspect of education, but i don't really mind homework. i am excited to learn new things and broaden my horizon-well, at least to how far Covina High School will let me broaden it. i can't wait to get new assignments, read Hamlet, look up new poems, be introduced to new authors and writers, etc., etc. school can be so amazing when you have a good attitude toward it. i may be leaving soon and high school will be over even sooner, but this year will be the best ever and screw all those other people who want to mess it up for me. this is it! this is my senior year! whoo...HERE WE GO!!!!

oh boy is it back

you got that right! it's only been two days and i'm already red! i've been "baking likes a toasted cheeser, it's so hot [there]!" i hate to sweat. i know it's supposed to make you cooler, but i don't feel a difference. i just feel the hot sun on my face being magnetized (if that's the right word) by like a thousand!!! and i can't wipe it off because i my hands are sticky from the stick tape on my drumsticks,my arms are already sweaty and dirty, and then my face and hands get even stickier than before!!!! it is so awful. and then i get baked. oh woe is me. my life sucks right? and my lips are chapped. oh, and not only do i have to put up with my own body malfunctions, i have to deal with the idiots in my section that make my life miserable. there is this one kid who makes it impossible for me to get a word in edgewise. i think it's just because he's mad that i'm his section leader and he thinks that he should be. stupid stupid stupid. i swear i am about to go insane!!! it shouldn't be this hard to be in charge of three other people...oh but it is.

at least i have my friends that make me feel better. my possie (however you spell it) is beginning to dwindle in numbers. well, there were only three of us, but now there are only two. however, two newbies have been added to the invite list. you see, almost all of the kids who are going to be juniors next year dropped out of band and so these two guys who were already sort of our friends need someone to hang out with. it's unofficial, but it's up in the air. i just hope they can make everything better.

it's back!!

i don't know how i feel about it, but band camp starts next week. i get to see my friends and play the drums: that's pretty cool. but i have to stand outside all day in the hot sun plotting the marching and sweating without so much as a water break. i think what i love about band is the friends. it might sound a little geeky, but some of these kids are the coolest!!! then again, some aren't...i won't name names (cough cough). but the kids are way cool and actually playing isn't that bad either. it's when the pressure starts coming to win. but you know what? i am going to do everything in my power to make this the best band season ever!!!!!

ode to the best friggin series in the world

HARRY POTTER!!!!!! seriously, j.k. rowling is a genius for coming up with such goodness for all readers to enjoy. one can only HOPE to create something as amazing as she has. i wish the movies put more information in it, but i guess with books as thick as those, it's hard to put everything in it. however, i enjoy watching the movies. each character has their own specialness and they are cool...first there's harry: sometimes he gets a little pissy and whines, but he's the chosen one i mean, "[he] defeated Voldemort when [he] was a baby, [he] was even awesome when [he] was a baby..."!!! then hermionethe little know-it-all. sometimes (to say it like prof. snape) she is insufferable, but who else is going to figure out how the basilisk is traveling through the school while the chamber of secrets is opened and who else can go back in time??!! then, of course, there's ron...oh ron...he's my favorite. he is so funny! sometimes he can be a little stupid, but nonetheless, you gotta love him. he is the coolest character. fred and george are pretty cool too. they are such twins! if i knew twin boys, that is how i would imagine them to be. finishing...each other's sentences...



HARRY POTTER IS AWESOME!!!!!!!

Pioneer children sang as they walked...

...and walked, and walked, and walked...and WALKED! i have so much more respect for that song now that actually became one of those pioneer children this weekend. our youth conference was a 5-mile pioneer trek that was pretty intensely legit. at first i didn't want to go, but my dad told me i had to...jk i ended up wanting to go. so i was in a family full of people i didn't really know and because of that i met a bunch of new people because i met their friends and then their friends and so on. so the day started off totally great and i was all excited to get started and so my family and i got our little hand cart ready and then i hear people say something like "look out for the mouse" and then i feel something rustle my skirt. so people start looking for the mouse in my direction so i feel around in my skirt and i feel the effing mouse!!!!! i know, so gross right? so i yell out to everyone that the mouse was in my skirt and so my "big brother" garbs my skirt where the mouse was and starts hitting it and then the mouse crawled out and yeah that was really gross. the later i got a lizard up my skirt but that wasn't as near as exciting as the mouse. so after that every little movement of my skirt bugged me. so we started off on our trek and there were these missionaries there and two of the girls in my family started talking about how cute they were and stuff and i was like "oh brother" so i start telling them to stop talking about missionaries like that and they shut up. so were trekking and then we rest and do some fun activities and ten we start up again and we come across this gully that we have to cross. so we had to take all of our stuff out, make an assembly line to take it across, take the hand cart across (that wasn't so easy), and then repack the hand carts. the first one took forever, but after that they were easier to get across. then we got to the camp and that night we had a hoedown. yeah, so legit, right? way better than a dance. so the girls all slept in cots made out of rope and the guys slept in pig pens with hay in them. then in the morning the girls had to do the first little part of the trek by themselves while the guys went off to "war." i sorta wish i got to watch the guys because they had a mock battle...that would've been fun. so we finished the trek and played games, had a speaker and went home. it was a great experience. i don't know that i'd do it again, but i did learn a lot and i would tell anyone who is going on a trek to go!

so...

...i kind of am bored. i know, i'm not supposed to talk about that, but i really am bored. i was thinking about the happiness of summer and i realized that i haven't seen my friends since the day school let out and some of them i have been (according to Anne of Green Gables) "aching to see." i know that's sort of odd, but i have some pretty great friends that i only get to see during the school year. it's sorta funny that the friends i can easily see aren't the ones i've been wanting to see these past few days. maybe i shouldn't think about it. what am i whining for? i don't have school, i can hang out with my sisters as often as i want, but there is still that void of the people you don't see 24/7. maybe we can all go to the beach some day like we said we would but haven't done. i think the only reason why i haven't taken initiative in calling my friends is because i'm afraid of my dad's "eye-roll" he always gives me when i want to hang out with my friends. i don't know why he does it and i don't know why it bothers m so much. i don't hang out with my buddies as often now and it makes me sad. what's wrong with going to the movies with jacquie or going to the beach with julie and katie-maybe a few other buddies? i know it sounds like an exaggeration, but my dad really does roll his eyes whenever i ask to hang out with friends. maybe he doesn't mean to do it. i'm sure sometimes he's only teasing me, but what about all of the other times. he does his "i'll have to think about it" line too. that doesn't bother me as much because that way just have to wait patiently for his decision and he doesn't stare at me. oh well...perhaps it's just as well. if i don't hang out with my friends i don't mind so much because i still have my sisters. still, it's nice to have that little bit of...freedom? is that a good word?

the last date of my junior year...holy crap!!!

yeah, it's so crazy that i am not a junior anymore!! i fell very under-prepared for my senior year, but i think that somehow i'll fight through it.

enough about all of that depressing stuff, i actually went to prom for the first time in my life (i wasn't going to say anything but brittany blogged about the pics so i guess i have to now!). i never found anything special about prom-especially junior prom-but a friend of mine asked me and i saw no trouble in going so i said yes (he also asked me in front of people; smart right?). despite my passiveness at going, i still went and had a pretty good time. i won't post the pics from before the party, but i'll show the during/sorta after pics.



this is the mr. noah. he is probably one of the coolest kid one could ever cross paths with and i have had the privilege of knowing him ever since kindergarten. omh, that seems like FOREVER AGO!! i swear, he is so funny and crazy and no one could ever compare to him because he is so amazing. he has spent many years with me in drama, then suddenly band, and of course we can't forget the honors program.


awww...jonathong, jonathong carrizle (a.k.a. jonathan carrizal) what a kid. he has been my drumline mentor person sorta. he was going to go into the marines, but the poor kid's mother made him go to college. he is someone i will really miss though...he's a senior. man alive time goes so quickly!


mattie halvorson. this was the choir president of this previous year and he has so graciously passed that task on to me. i only hope that i can be half as good as he was. this guy pulled me through some though times in choir when our director would get on my last nerve. he was a really good guy too. i have no clue how i am going to keep choir under control now!!!!

so the dance overall was pretty fun. i felt bad because at like 9:15 i already wanted to go home. but i stuck it out and i made it through the night. the only reason why i wanted to leave was because my date and i were dancing with the couples (you can imagine people making-out right?) and so i was really uncomfortable and my date was looking at me kinda funny. but then we started hanging out with matt and noah whose group was NOT as awkward so after that it was really fun. i don't know how i would rate the date compared to my other two, but who cares about that? the important thing was that i had fun at my junior prom!

summer...summer...summer

SUMMER! yup, it's that time of year again! the time where i get to hang out with my friends less, but hang out with my family more. when there is no space in the house, but when everyone is home in order for me to enjoy their company. accompanied by dodger games, movie nights, and other totally fun stuff. oh and let's not forget the fourth of JULY! also, the long-awaited release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!!!! we also can't forget the beach and sunsets on the roof, cruising down the street with the windows down feeling the heat of the oh-so-hot lovely sun and rocking out to songs that are entitled CALIFORNIA. the happy days are back!! of course, there is the work that i am expected to get done during the day, not to mention my summer assignment, but after dinner i am as free a i can ever be. no doubt my friends and i will continue our ROCKBAND sessions...except with a few extra people added to our party. now i can get tan and enjoy the heat and loveliness of the day. and then (i hate to spoil the happiness of this blog entry) band camp starts in august...i haven't decided how i feel about that just yet. but you know what? i am not going to worry about that right now. i am going to enjoy my summer while i can!!!!!!

the lowdown

sooo...a lot has happened over the past few weeks. so the thing that my friend and I were working on happened. we totally pulled it off! so the day of the performance, he and i were working in the choir room and we were finally satisfied that we knew what we were doing. our first run-through was really good and there was this weird feeling in the room...man it was heavy. but then we ran though it a few more times and we were zoning out! we both were so tired and we could not concentrate. so we finally decided that the only thing we could do was to go out there and do our thing and hope that we rocked it. so performance time rolls around and throughout the whole concert we were looking at each other getting really nervous and stuff. My choir director like pulled us aside and told us, "look, i heard you guys earlier and you sound amazing so don't be nervous." we were the second to last act so we spent the whole concert in anticipation. it's finally our turn to perform and we look at each other like, hope this goes down well. it went better than well. WE ROCKED IT!!! no dude, i'm totally serious we handled randall! it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. i know that's really sad, but it was. everything came together and there was this intensely heavy feeling in the room. after the song, we were so overwhelmed we hugged and then after the concert, he said he wanted to record the song. i guess he knows this guy who will record us for 20 bucks an hour. so i am pretty happy about that whole shananigan.

i am a horrible person!!

yes i am. my friend and i are working on a piece of music that we are going to perform at a choir concert and auditions were today. well, i found out on friday that it was supposed to be performance ready, but we weren't even halfway through the song the last time we practiced. so i had to frantically write down the chords for the song so that he could write his bass part over the weekend, but he forgot his music notebook this morning! he came into the drum room this morning freaking out saying he was so sorry and he ruined this opportunity. i finally got him calm enough that he resolved to go home at lunch and get the notebook from his house. i then talked to my director and she told me that we could just audition tomorrow! so we were freaking out for nothing!!! i was a little annoyed by that, but whatever. so then lunch rolls around and my friend says that he couldn't get away so he needed me to write down the chords for him. so i told him we could go tomorrow, and i had never seen such relief from him. oh high school. people get worked up over the silliest things, ya know?

the return of the pony

YES!!!!!!! it is back. for the first tome in a few months, i am able to pull all of my hair back into a ponytail. it has made me miss my long hair a lot. it's nice because now i can be lazy all over again!!! i used to have to do my hair every day. now if i don't have time, i can just pull it back into that trusty old style that got me through my freshman and sophomore year. YAY FOR LAZINESS!!!!

my KKK dream

so the other night, i had the weirdest dream. the KKK came to my house and said that they were going to kill me because i had jungle fever. i know, so dumb, right? anyway, so i start laughing at them and tell them that they look stupid in their robe things and the dude gets all mad at me. then he takes off his hood and i see that he is an old friend of mine who everyone thought was a Nazi (don't ask why). my first thought was this fool would be a member of the KKK. then he tells everyone to leave me alone because i was a holman and then the other people take their hoods off and they're all people i already know!!!

please tell me that was a dream!!!!=d